She Was Yours First
by Drummer-Girl2
Summary: Not many would believe or agree, but before him it was you.


_I was re reading my massively awesome 60th Anniversary Peanuts collection and this sort of just popped itself in my head. The couple is self explanitory, not everyones favourite but I like how it ended up. _

She was yours first.

Not many would believe or agree, but before him it was you. You were older, not by much and you were both so very young. As young and innocent as could be. You were her knight in shining armour, or perhaps just the play horse on which she rode. Together you'd go on adventures around the mountains, slay the dragons, free the indians. You remember she would always have the perfect aim with her bow and arrow, or her pistol, whatever she decided was for today. She would read as you would play with your trains, her 'sense of humour' developing and she would call you over to remind you of what the letter C meant. Soon enough you would be called for supper. It started way back then, she would get your hopes up and dash them with a smile that could light up a city. But somehow you knew she adored you, like a big brother, especially later when that role became blood truth and you could recognise a certain look. There were others, but you were far too young notice. You remember her being jealous of the other girls and you're not sure of why. The other girls were not that nice to you, not inviting you to parties and whatnot. But somehow you still wanted their attention, and you often saw her peeking through a window or around a tree when the others were around. Perhaps if you had ignored them, her later behaivour would have been different. You only wanted someone to like you, but back then you didn't realise you had.

Things changed when she first saw him. That shock of blonde hair, those fingers which made magic at such a tender age. Suddenly there was no more cowboys and indians, no more adventures round the living room. Just you and your trains. She would go over to his house all the time to listen to him play, and while she was at it she would confess her undying love for him. They would be married, with children, and somehow she would be the perfect housewife whilst also being the first female president of the United States no less. You found it funny, she gave you a scowl. You didn't understand it though. He never paid her any attention at all. He was so involved with his music he didn't give her a look at all. Eventually she would get bored and she would come to you, but being the terror that she was, she had more fun pulling away your football and pointing out a slideshow of your faults. That was her, the greatest Miss Fussbudget in the world. Still you'd come to her and she would listen. She may have made a remark about your foolishness or boringness, but at least she listened. She would pretend to psychonanalyse you, but her advice wasn't exactly setting your life on fire. You had things in common, you were both the eldest and often talked of trading the younger sibling for the other. You liked her younger brother alot, he would become your best friend.

You remember the first time you saw the other girl at school. It was love at first sight. Well maybe, actually it was just a crush but at the time it was like love. The other girl looked completely different, with her rosy cheeks and red hair. Different to her jet black locks and sharp intelligent eyes. Looking back you remember that seemed to be when her behaviour towards you became more menacing. More teasing with that damn football, less listening and he became her whole world all of a sudden. You only existed when she needed a punching bag, she even liked your dog better than you. Her diagnosis would often be harsh and her idea of treatment even harsher. But you didn't notice it really, not until looking back now. At the time you were looking at the world through rose, no, red coloured glasses. You still went to her though, only this time she started charging 5c a pop. She had always been smart, but not on everything. Even though he was now your friend, you couldn't help but feel some sort of resentment towards him. At the time you just thought it was because he was hurting your best friends sister.

When you were 15 it happened, you saw them kissing. In someways it was a shock, he had never given her the light of day but now...things had changed though. The world had changed. The music had changed. He had changed and he started noticing what everyone else, or maybe just you did. You were friends now, good friends with both of them. She had matured and lost alot of her menacing streak. But she could still pack a punch when she wanted too. You weren't the most popular kid at school, in fact none of them were, but she held respect and he for his talent gained the overflow. Suddenly they were golden and it angered you. You weren't sure why though, you didn't like her she was just a friend you would tell yourself. But you were so angry that you pitched a perfect game, and suddenly you had the arm of the girl with red hair. You still talked though, about anything and everything. Only now she had dropped her cardboard box and 5c sign. Just you and her. You remember how she and her brother would walk around the house like it was theirs, just as you and your sister would walk theirs. It had been that long. When he was off practicing she would come and hang out with you watching TV, listening to the radio. It was almost like old times, before she knew him, but then a call from the other girl would come, or she would tell you she had to meet him somewhere.

At the time and really, it shouldn't have been unexpected. Somehow though, it still shocked you. The guys all thought he was a legend and the girls would crowd around her and want all the details. You thought the other boys were stupid, acting as though they'd won a baseball game. If the girls wanted stories of wonder they were to be dissapointed. She seemed the most unexcited, as though she was completely unfazed by it. Your families have dinner together and your siblings are totally engrossed in the television program that they are not listening. It's not as big a deal as everyone thinks it is, she says. You shrug in reply but in your head you're glad that it wasn't lifechanging for her. You feel guilty in your silence. It's not as if you have to worry too much about it, she smirks at you. Your girlfriend may as well be the poster girl for the celibacy club. You both laugh.

At 18 things changed dramatically. You had lost the red haired girl, because you had only made second string. She had moved up in the world, to the captain of the team of course, but somehow by this time you were glad. You didn't see the world in red anymore. Not too long after he had announced a scholarship at Julliard no less, he wasn't going to wait, he wanted to go now. They would fight viciously all the time and you couldn't understand why they stayed together. She doesn't know anything else, her brother would say philisophically. You remember her on your bed, red eyed and the time being late. She thought she was silly that she should be happy for him getting to do what he wants to do and her getting what she wanted in her school of choice. She doesn't understand why he couldn't have waited until graduation. You try the oldest line in the book; if it's meant to be, everything will work out. It seems to work and you see a smile that you haven't for a long time. You're a good man, she says.

You have never been more devastated than when it happened. There was nothing you could do, the car was travelling far too quickly to stop in time. You don't remember much about that day except her holding your hands at the vets. She helped you say goodbye. You ask her why she was here, because it was his last recital. He would be gone next week and they didn't have much time left. She's seen plenty of recitals, she says, and she loved your dog too almost as much as you did. Everyone is sad at the passing, your dog was pretty much the community dog as much as he was your own. You can't help but notice a distance from him about it though. Was he angry that she was with you? Their last week together goes without incident, in fact they seemed as content as ever. You're all there at the airport to say goodbye. A sweet kiss, a promise to try the long distance thing, and plans for visiting during college holidays are made between the two. He and you shake hands, look after her, he asks. You agree but make mention that she doesn't need looking after. He nods and turns and you know he'll make it one day. The first week or so is tough, she struggles, but your there as the friend she'll always have. It's tough for you as well though because you finally start to realise what sort of hold this girl has on you.

Something happens not long later and it catches the both of you off guard. You and her are walking back from a party at the captains place. She has her arm linked in yours, using you as a balancing pole. Both of you had a bit to drink and you say a joke that you both find more amusing than it actually is. You make it back to your houses, and you start to make your away across the street to yours. She stops you and your about to ask what was up when she suddenly kisses you. It only lasts about 3 seconds and you both jump back blurting out apologies. The next day you both agree to forget it, it was simple you were both drunk and it was stupid. Only you find you can't forget it.

A few months later you're considering it. Just as friends of course as they are still very much together. It's only been three months, but you decide everyone should have someone to go to prom with. You're about to ask when she comes to you beaming that he would be back to take her and to also graduate. Seeing her so happy makes you genuinely happy for her. You're in luck though cause one of the cheerleaders happens to have a major crush on you. It's funny how when your in a bit of form and you pitch a few winning games, how much more popular you become. If the red-haired girl was different from her though, this girl was the exact opposite. She makes the point that the girl is not your type, but you ignore her happy to have the overt attention. The four of you go together and it's all very polite. Even they seem a bit on edge as while they have talked on the phone, they have not seen eachother for a long time. You feel slightly awkward at the hand making their way up and down your leg under the table, but you wont say that you didn't enjoy. The blonde makes her way to the bathroom and she asks you for a dance. As you move around the dance floor she thanks you. You're slightly taken aback and ask why. She says you've been such a great friend over the years even when she teased you and made you feel miserable. She apologises and you argue that it is a long time ago. She says thanks anyway and kisses you on the cheek before rejoining him at the table. You notice they get up to leave and you wave a quick goodbye before rejoing your date for another dance. You lose your virginity that night. The blonde comments that it was amazing. You can't help but think about the time she told you about her first time. You'd definitely have to agree with her.

She is in college and you don't get to see her for almost a year. You stay at home with your apprentiship, and while although she's only a couple of hours away her holidays and long weekends are spent in New York with him. She finally comes home for Christmas and you and her brother arrive at the train station to pick her up. College has only been kind to her, and suits her well. All those years of fake psychology at the booth have paid off, as she is thoroughly enjoying her courses and knows what she wants in life. Your families have christmas together as they often did being neighbours for so long. Your sister interrogates her on the quality of male companionship at the university. She just laughs runs a hand through her long thick black hair and comments that she wouldn't know. You ask offhandedly where he is. She replies that he didn't want to come home and you can't help notice a distance within her when he is mentioned. You enjoy the time together, you go see films and the old crew who have come home for holidays have a couple of parties. Soon enough though she is back on the train waving you goodbye. The year goes by and by the end it's nothing special.

The next year she starts to come home much more often. You don't really make mention of it, you're just happy that she's here. You're pretty sure you know why, they had broken up after all. You ask how he is and she just shrugs. It's on and off for them over the next few months and you wish she would just end it. You're both 20 now The two of you always have a good time together just hanging out and whatnot. She tries to explain the importance of Allport in the field of social psychology, reading from her text book while lying on the bed. It's completely lost upon you as you try to fix the broken backboard on her overly stacked bookshelf. She asks you how you've been, any girls throwing themselves at him being the handsome carpenter that he now was? You give her a sarcastic look and tell her you've had a couple of dates that didn't go anywhere and you focus on your apprenticeship. Boring as ever she laughs at you. Before she goes back she accompanies you to the pound. Your moving out and she absolutely insists that you have some company. Your new puppy reminds the both of you of your old dog and your in love at first sight. She draws the line at calling him the second though. You visit her at her university for the first time, she invited you up to see the sights. The city is bustling, far more exciting than home. Home is not tiny not by any means, but this city is huge. It's suits you, you tell her. Her friends seem to really like you for some reason. So this is who we hear all about all the time, they beam. She just smiles and deflects when you question her on it.

The next long stretch of holidays she again comes back to her hometown. After that it becomes every weekend, she would drive herself home on the Friday and not leave until late the Sunday. You've just turned 22, she was still 21 being 7 months behind you. This time you flat out ask her, although you're sure you know the answer already, you want to hear it aloud. It's over. It's been over for almost a year, she answers sitting on your couch in your apartment, he's seeing someone else. Your heart skips a beat but you keep your cool and say nothing. You're not sure why but she seems dissapointed at your lack of response. Her brother comes to see you and asks you if anything is going on between the two of you. She spends more time here than she does at home, he comments. You argue that nothings going on, you're just good friends. He doesn't seem to believe it, and you don't find it that convincing either. He tells you he's taking a trip with some college friends and that his parents are away tonight. You ask him why he told you that. Her brother smiles a knowing smile as he cleans his glasses. She likes you too, he simply says as he heads back out. No... she loves you, he rephrases. You're shocked and are unable to move for a long time. Finally you decide to take a walk, it's late but you need to clear you're head. You see her looking through the window of an antiques store. You ask her what she is looking at and she points towards the desk. She mentions she always wanted one like that, just like her grandfathers. She takes your arm and you both walk along in silence until you make it to the baseball pitch. She sits on the bench as you pretend to pitch on the mound. Ball! She yells. It was a Strike! You mock offense. You sit down next to her, but she refuses to look at you, looking out towards the pitch. She seems to have something on her mind, you ask her for her thoughts. She sighs and faces you.

Why aren't we together?

She floors you. You try to find the words but nothing comes to mind. You're frozen and can't say all the things you want to. She snaps you back to reality as she starts to get up, muttering that what she said was stupid and she apologises. She starts to walk briskly across and finally you get your legs working catching up to her, grabbing her by the arm forcing her to turn around. You notice the glint of tears which suprises you, she was never one to cry. You take a step towards her and tuck a black curl behind her ear.

You tell me. Cause I have no idea.

She moves and closes the distance and you bring your lips down to hers. This time there is no guilt, and you know that she is yours again.

_I've always liked to think that one day Lucy gets over her crush on Schroeder and falls for good old Charlie Brown. :D _


End file.
